Sovereignty is about belonging to ourselves, in our own body

I’m walking down a now very familiar path, the tree tops are changing their outfits, it’s a sunny and crisp day. My two white companions are scampering around in front of me. I feel at home, in my element, in harmony, at peace.

The usual sense of urgency that arises when I’m present with what surrounds me is making me want to distract myself from this walk. And so it wins, I pick my phone and check “things”, with no clear intention. When I zip back my phone into my hip pack I realize that I'm already further down the road, arriving home, like I was transported there without realizing it. How did I get here? I’m not questioning myself as if I truly was teletransported a km down the road, I’m pointing out at how distracted I was to not keep on noticing the magic in this walk.

 

How many special moments, how many opportunities, how much beauty did I miss since I have access to the internet? And how much did I learn, create, explore and live thanks to it?

But this black little portal into many sparkly worlds that my phone is can truly be a thief sometimes. A thief of time, beauty, wisdom and, dare I say, life. I know, all of this sounds heavy and in some ways it is but it’s also bringing a lot of sovereignty back into my hands. I know that we don’t like to hear this, but everything begins with choice. We attempt to give away to external actors and factors our own ability to choose and that’s a choice too. But the feeling of being the magician of my own life is definitely more empowering than giving away my sovereignty.

Now, this topic of choice and free-will has probably been discussed, unravelled and unpacked for centuries so it’s not a new theme, but being sovereign is my cup of tea.

For me sovereignty is the ability to belong to myself, it starts in the body, and it’s the feeling and series of actions that puts my life back into my own field. Every creature on this planet has sovereignty because it has a body. Because every living creature has a body, it doesn’t mean that we’re all extremely powerful and healthy and happy. Our body is awesome and has the ability to regenerate but it doesn’t mean that we’re immune to suffering.

I’m going to write this again: the fact that we all have access to our own sovereignty DOES NOT mean that we are immune from suffering, abuse and pain.

Sovereignty does not equate with happiness or well-being. It’s about being present with ourselves and what there is so we can move towards what’s important for us. 

It’s not about being over-responsible for the shit that the world is throwing around me and blaming myself if someone is abusing me, it's about living within myself so I can respond to whatever I’m facing. It’s very complex and quite simple too :)

Choosing to look at my phone instead of looking at the foliage is just a choice, there’s nothing inherently right or wrong with any choice, I don’t want to turn this sharing into another entry point for me to shame myself or others for choosing whatever we’re choosing. My perspective is much lighter and empowering: at any moment in time, I’m given countless opportunities to anchor in something that is expansive, beautiful, comfortable, safe, unsafe, scary, disregulating, regulating, magical, ordinary, conflicting, peaceful, etc. 

Where my attention goes, brings results, some known and tested others more unpredictable. 

For me it is refreshing to know that, as long as we have a body, we are given/are experiencing countless opportunities to be present with what we come to like or not. How wonderful to let go of the shame that results from “doing things right” and just realize that any moment is an opportunity to experience life. And, of course traumas exist, suffering exists, pain exists! We have bodies and others have bodies too! How terrifying and beautiful and what a gift!

I know, if anyone is even reading this is either upset and triggered, or confused or indifferent or just agrees with me. We all are in the business of confirming our own biases and 

“The truth will set you free, but first it will upset you"  as Gloria Steinem said.

I’m tired of myself now :) Micke is preparing himself to bike to town to send some packages, I will go too so I better get ready. 

Thank you for choosing to read this, you’re a wonderful being. I wish you to have the capacity to look at yourself with awe and love.