What a gift!

“What a gift!” I find myself thinking while I sip on the black tea I just made. Cuchita is next to me on the table, laying on a wooly knitted poncho I made a year ago. It’s 06:22 am.

I truly feel deeply grateful for being here, for making the time to sit and write as a way to center myself and nurture my creative side.

Recently, more than often I caught myself thinking “well, AI is going to take the writer’s work, so what’s the point of wanting to write anything anymore?”

This way of thinking is so reductive, shallow, hopeless, unwise. It’s easy though to think this way when you see how fast everything moves around that. And it’s very lazy. Yes, “lazy” is my judgment and it’s alright. Writing requires commitment, a certain degree of effort, direction and discipline. For me writing is not about perfecting something, it’s about finding clarity in the complexity of my lived experience, enjoying the process and producing an outcome. It’s a bit like hiking. 

I’ve always loved writing, since I was quite young. I’d write stories, poems and my own essays around topics I found interesting. Other than writing some articles for my school newspaper, and poems for some gatherings and events, I never made a living from my writings. 

The way I write, whether in English or in my mother tongue Italian, it’s not intellectual, pretentious, or highly articulated. My writing comes from my own embodied experiences, thoughts and opinions that surf themselves into the page. 

I want to write more and I want to make more videos, making more art this way is greatly fulfilling for me. 

For a while I struggle to explain that I’m a multi-passionate and creative creature to my friends and people, that I want to inspire and support others in reconnecting with the wisdom of their bodies, their art, the natural world. 

Many, confused, would give up all-together in asking me what I want to do with my life work-wise, others would proceed telling me they didn’t get what my projects were about and “how can you make money out of that?” and I completely understand their concerns and confusion. I struggled a lot to bridge the gap between my creative endeavours, skills, studies and economical success. 

For a big portion of my adult life I’ve worked on random jobs I liked but weren’t really filling my creative cup. We all did that.

Recently I realized that those I admire the most, don’t fret over whether their art is useful or would be liked, they deeply know how generous it is to let themselves create; they have intention, discipline and trust that their art will find its way to those who understand and need that medicine. 

I’m finally showing up to my art and I’m actively trusting that it will be fruitious.

Trust paired with commitment seems to be truly the way but we will see.

This summer was intense. I’m not ready to talk about it but I must say that I completely underestimated how profoundly unsettling it is to be living and working in a building site,  FOR YEARS. A building site that we, with our own 2 hands, bodies and souls are making into a home. Our house is in the middle of  a glaze in the mountains, with no human neighbors around. I know that that seems very romantic and idyllic but it has been much more complex and intense than I could ever imagine. 

We slowly are building a small community by exchanging time, effort and care with friends around us but it’s all still very work-in-progress. We’ve been living in this place off-grid for almost 3 years.

I felt unworthy to take the time to make my art, to write, to make videos. “There’s no time and energy for that”, I’d convinced myself. I worked on the house and acquired new skills, while feeling quite uprooted. My creative self has been starved for a while, so I’m grateful I still kept wegrowild alive even though I’ve been quite haphazard and didn’t have a clear message.

Yes, I’m quite making a big fuss out of this space I’m in now because I’m very grateful to get to re-build a creative practice. 

Again, making art from my heart and embodied living experiences is truly a gift and, when I allow myself to focus on my callings, I’m a better human for my relationships and the Earth.